A TMAU Sufferer’s Personal Message


My Thoughts for Today

Will there be a day in our futures when we will be treated with dignity and respect?

At the present moment, I really don’t have an answer.

Living with an odor condition has not been easy. 16 years of living with one has been a life-changing experience.

Many questions have come to mind over the years.

Why me?

What did I do to deserve such a mark on my life?

Am I a bad person?

Is there a God? I mean, really why would He allow this if He is a good and loving God?

Was I a bad person in a previous life? And now, am I being punished?

For years I lived a life of a hermit, afraid of the way people would treat me if I stepped outside of my front door.

In the past 5 to 6 years, I decided to live life again.

Ignoring people’s comments and reactions, and pretending to be normal seemed to work for me.

I mean, I threw all caution to the wind and started really living.

In the last few months ignoring reactions have become difficult for some reason.

When dealing with educators at my children’s high school, I have to be stand- offish at times. I don’t want my boys mistreated because of my condition.

My whole life is complicated.

I’m a coward…afraid to do certain things that I want to do or that I need to do in life.

Why can’t I continue to be strong and act like I’m normal?

I don’t have an answer.

I’m tired lately…so very tired.

I’m like the woman with the scarlet letter. Everyone knows, and even if I don’t smell at the moment…. I’m marked for life.

Clinical depression sometimes takes over, and yes I have thoughts of suicide.

Although I really don’t want to die, sometimes I think it would be easier.

Turmoil comes into my mind at times.

No, I’m not going to kill myself. I will never do that!

Everyone has a purpose. I must have a purpose…but what is it???

Tomorrow is another day. I will be fine. No, I AM FINE…. as always.

So we ate breakfast at a restaurant this morning before leaving on our trip. As I walked up to the counter to place my order, I got the “Hey, that’s her” and then the rub of the nose and pinching the nose.

A few minutes later as we were seated, I see one of the waitresses go outside and walk around to the window we were facing and she stood there staring at me. I stared her down. Then I winked at her…She rolled her eyes and pinched her nose. Then she started wiping down the window.

Yes, I think the “Sonya” will be OK.


I got the celebrity treatment!

Who wants my autograph?

P.S. No matter how many times you get knocked down, you just have to keep getting back up. God knows our struggles and he can see our determination and perseverance. Keep pushing and praying and when you have done everything that you can do, He will step in and do the things that you cannot do. He will put people, things, and situations in your life to help you along, and that will be His way of letting you know that you are not alone

Yeah, God told me this while I am sitting on my front porch this morning. I’m listening to the birds.
Thought I would share.

This post was written by Sonya. She is happily married and not a member of this website.

If you wish to reply to this post, please scroll to the bottom of the page to the comment box.

17 thoughts on “A TMAU Sufferer’s Personal Message”

  1. I am a male who is dealing with the same problems. Please send me a site to share my feelings with others.I am from Alabama.I would like to communicate with some suffering from the Alabama,Georgia,Florida & Mississippi area.Thanks & stay positive at all times.

    1. Hi Reginald. I noticed that you are a registered member of this site and that you haven’t been active on it in more than 5 years. You have 47 messages waiting from other members.

      If you don’t remember your password, I can change it for you and email it to you, then you can go to your home page and change it to whatever password you like. I’ll also re-send you the welcome email and let you know exactly how to change your password. If this is what you would like for me to do, email me at rich@romancingrarehearts.com or reply to this comment.

      Thank you for being a member of romancingrarehearts.com!

  2. 44yrs old been dealing with this half of my like, just trying to link up with beautiful souls that is dealing with tmau.

  3. I thought you might want to hear my day to day experience. So, I lost my job of 8 years a a year ago. Since then I’ve been terminated from 3 jobs. Once they realize the problem is not subsiding, they will find a reason to fire me. I went a job interview yesterday knowing that I am totally over qualified for. I saw the sheer excitement just drain from my interviewers face each time she got hit with my dragon breath. I knew that the fetid stench had blown the interview, literally. It was a done deal, no way they will hire me. I can’t even get thru an interview. How am I going to get a job?…

    1. Hi… I hope you don’t mind… But I’ve been through the same… For almost 20 years… I’m not sure if I have this TMAU… I know I wasn’t born like this.
      Half of my life.. I’m almost 40 now.
      And I’ve been humiliated constantly for 20 years… It takes its toll!
      I’d like to hear from you. If you don’t mind

  4. I am a gay female in I go there the the same thing everyday at my job I hate getting up to go to work but at the same time I have to work its so very hard loving with this curse I’m mated for life

  5. Sonya,
    I commend your spirit. I was at the grocery store today, and a little boy yells out, ” Mommy, I smell stink”. As usual I didn’t look around, but then again, I didn’t have too. I knew who he was talking about. After his out burst it became very quiet. I just kept on shopping, but was very aware of myself from then on. I feel you on every word you typed. We are in this together. I have already made up my mind that if I am healed of this dreadful condition, I will remain supportive. Stay encouraging.

    1. Hello sonya, Ricardo here just trying to find a supportive group thats going through some of the same life issues as i.

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